[OOM] Skiving class

[honourbyname]

Albus has his bag packed for class.

It's Arithmancy right now, and while a part of him thinks he'd probably like a door to Milliways to pop up at any moment, he knows classes are important too.

He's just leaving the Ravenclaw tower, past the eagle, not suspecting a thing.

Comments

[alsoagreengrass]

Now Scorpius is the one blushing, his cheeks a bright pink.

"I, er - I don't need a cake. If I wanted one, I could've gone to Milliways."

[honourbyname]

"Yeah, but - um. It's not the same, is it? A birthday without a cake," Albus says.

"My birthday's usually around Easter holidays, so it's brilliant when I go home. Dad always picks up a cake if my grandmum hasn't made one already."

[alsoagreengrass]

"Right. But, no, I mean, this is, uhm - This is good too. Just... this. Being out here, out of class."

With Albus. It's what he wanted.

(His face is burning.)

He clears his throat.

"I'll have something cake-like for dessert tonight."

[honourbyname]

"Well, I should um - at least get you something later," Albus says thoughtfully, "since I didn't even know it was your birthday.

"Did you want anything in particular?"

Next time they're in Hogsmeade, he'll absolutely get it.

[alsoagreengrass]

"You don't have to do that," Scorpius says, shaking his head. "I don't want you to do that."

He really doesn't.

"I never mentioned it before, so how could you know? You're not a shoddy mate. I never knew when yours was. Which, you could have mentioned. I'd - I would have got you a present."

He could have got him a really good book. Or something. He should have thought to ask.

[honourbyname]

"Well, no one else really knows," Albus says, shrugging lightly.

He used to get enough spotlight as it was without adding a birthday to the equation. And then, after a while, Albus never thought to tell anyone, least of all Scorpius, whom he'd only started talking to this year.

"Anyway, it's not important. It's your birthday today."

[alsoagreengrass]

"Also not important," he mumbles, looking away.

He certainly doesn't need any presents, anyway. He thinks he doesn't deserve any.

He hasn't been a very good friend to Albus, thinking about him as he has.

And he's been a rotten boyfriend to Annabeth, hasn't he?

[honourbyname]

"Well, it's important enough to risk detention and expulsion and all of that if we get caught, isn't it?" Albus asks, turning his head to glance in Scorpius' direction.

He offers the other boy a smile.

"I suppose - well, it's all right. That's what friends would do for each other."

[alsoagreengrass]

Friends.

Right.

He had been starting to smile again, until that.

"What friends do."

He suddenly can't be near the other boy, and he steps away to the other side of the bridge.

"Is that - ?"

Is that it, then? Only friends?

[honourbyname]

Albus' expression falls, too.

That - he hadn't expected that.

At all.

He asks, "Aren't we?" at the same time as Scorpius speaks.

[alsoagreengrass]

Scorpius jerks his head up, heart pounding quite fiercely in his chest as he stares at Albus.

He can't keep the hurt expression from his face.

"Are we?"

[honourbyname]

"I ... thought so," he starts.

Albus had expected there would be a couple of awkward moments, what with Scorpius' letter and everything he'd felt shared between them, but -

Maybe it was utterly naïve of him to think that things would simply go back to normal.

The expression on Scorpius' face makes Albus visibly deflate.

Softly: "I'm sorry."

[alsoagreengrass]

Scorpius sucks in a deep breath, glances away. Albus' apologies make him feel awful. Coupled with the guilt, and the wanting, and faced with the fact of being only friends with Albus...

Well. He's tired of feeling awful.

"Maybe this, uhm - Maybe this wasn't a good idea. I know, uhm - I know what I said in the letter. About moving on quickly, but I - I haven't," he says, stumbling over his words messily.

"I've been dating Annabeth. She's brilliant, and attractive, and I'm an idiot because I'm standing on this bridge, and I want to snog you.

"No, I want to do more than snog you, actually. I want to hold your hand in the corridors and get caught in broom cupboards with you and - I've been waiting, Albus. I've been bloody well waiting for you. And you don't - You'll never - "

Because he won't, will he? He won't.

Scorpius wishes he could feel angry - he wants to; his words are a bit sharp - but he doesn't.

He just feels like an idiot.

[honourbyname]

Albus stares down at his feet, his insides clenching uncomfortably with something like a mix of guilt and apology and general awfulness.

He knows about Annabeth. He knows about Scorpius' letter to him.

He'd thought that everything was fine, or it would be -

And just -

Why him? How could he - Albus Potter - possibly have that sort of effect on someone else?

'I have to think that with anything like that, you'll know.
It's when you start trying to talk yourself into things
and out of things that you get yourself in trouble.'

And he doesn't know. He doesn't ...

"I'm sorry," he says again.

He doesn't know what else to say.

[alsoagreengrass]

Scorpius is sorry too.

"I want to be friends," he says, trying not to sound -

Well, quite frankly, like he wants to cry. Because this is, after all, embarrassing enough already.

"But I don't know if I can."

Not when he likes Albus this much and Albus, unknowingly or not, has just sort of broken his heart.

Because it does hurt. It really, really hurts.

"Things were a bit easier when we were ignoring each other, weren't they? We were - We were good at that."

[honourbyname]

It does hurt.

It hurts Albus, too.

He feels like all the air around them has been sucked right out of the world and the ground has been pulled out from under his feet. It's a huge and horrible cliche, but it's all he can think of to distract himself from hearing the hurt in Scorpius' voice.

"D'you want to go back to that?" he asks quietly. "Ignoring each other."

He really hopes Scorpius won't say 'yes'.

So he continues, quickly: "Because - I don't know what to say. I'm trying to figure it out, but - I don't know. I think you're - you're really, really cool. And I like you. But I don't know if it's -"

He lets out a frustrated sigh.

"I'm not good at this."

[alsoagreengrass]

And, right then, so Scorpius is going to cry. He's just so confused and hurt.

(Cool?

Just cool?)

"I don't know," he whispers, brokenly. "I - I think, maybe, it might be better if we did. Ignore each other again."

Being ignored has to feel better than this.

[honourbyname]

Merlin, this is not -

And now Scorpius is - Albus has gone and made the other boy cry, and he's never done that before, ever, and it makes him feel like a monster, and it sucks, and -

And his throat's feeling a bit thick, too.

He wants to reach out and - oh, he doesn't know - pat the other boy, or apologize again, or something (anything), but he doesn't.

Instead, Albus watches Scorpius, rigid in his spot, feeling worse with every second that passes because it's obvious he's the cause of all this, unable to make up his mind as it is.

With a fair amount of deliberation, he nods.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore," Albus says very calmly, though it's still difficult to keep the quaver out of his voice, "or make you feel guilty or like - like an idiot. So - um. Yeah. All right."

He takes a breath, but his chest feels a little tight.

(Who said he wasn't any good at acting?)

"We're not friends anymore. And - and we should ignore each other again." He swallows. "Should be easy, yeah? We barely see each other at school anyway. And Milliways is ... it's a big place."

[alsoagreengrass]

So. That's it then. Friendship over.

Scorpius discreetly wipes at his eyes and tries not to sniffle too loud. Because now he's not crying in front of Albus, he's crying in front of a Potter.




"You could probably catch the last half of the class, if you hurry."

He turns his gaze away from Alb- Potter.

Chin up, he tells himself.

"Tell the professor I held you up, I started a fight or whatever. I doubt anyone will argue in my favour."

[honourbyname]

Albus doesn't move for a moment; he's reluctant to go anywhere.

He suddenly feels cold, and he can't keep up with his thoughts.

This can't just be it, can it?

But it is.


Steeling himself, Albus nods.

He takes a step backward.

And then another.

And then he's walking the rest of the length of the bridge, back to the school, never looking back.