honourbyname | [OOM] Skiving class

Scorpius had been waiting for Albus outside the Ravenclaw common room. And maybe, if Albus had known that, he'd have suspected something.

He falls in step with the other boy almost as soon as he appears.

"Hi," he greets, quite cheerfully, "We're skiving off class today."

And since Albus had promised, before he can think of a way out of this, Scorpius grabs him by the strap of his book-bag and starts leading him off in the opposite direction of the classroom.

"W-what? Like, right now?"

Albus isn't prepared!

Not mentally, physically, er - anything, really.

He could have packed a different bag or something.

Alas, he gives himself up to be dragged around by Scorpius, because - well, he did know it was coming at some point this week.

"Yes, right now. It's a lot easier to skive off before the class starts than in the middle of it."

He grins and pulls Albus forward by the strap again, this time to snake an arm around his shoulders.

"It'll be fine. I thought we'd go out to the bridge."

"Wouldn't we get caught out there, though?" Albus asks a little skeptically. "Erm - I mean, any professor might see."

Yeah.

This is definitely not his forte, skiving classes.

"Er, the thing is - ? We're not in class. So, the professor will know anyway. Getting caught out there would just mean a sure detention, maybe two, and likely being sent back to class," he explains.

"But if you're not comfortable with that idea..."

There are always other places in the castle they could go. He'd just rather spend his birthday outdoors than stuck in some stuffy room.

"I don't suppose there's a beginner's level for this sort of thing?" he tries.

Well, it's worth to ask.

Albus readjusts his bag, which has begun slipping off his shoulder.

"Not, er - Not really," Scorpius laughs, pausing to help Albus readjust the bag.

His fingers linger on the strap for half a second before falling away.

"Rather, I mean, one class is sort of the beginner's level."

"Thanks," Albus mumbles, quickly averting his glance from Scorpius to - well, everything else around them.

"Well, all right. Then I suppose - in the name of research, or - um. Something. I might as well get the full experience of skiving class."

This is permission for Scorpius to take lead in this expedition.

"Right. Or something."

He grins, only not as brightly as before.

"Come on, then. The bridge awaits."

He's keeping his fingers to himself this time as they head out.

"Are you certain you want the full experience, though? That'd involve firewhiskey and being sick over the side of the bridge."

(He's joking. Really. His tone is far too serious to be taken seriously.)

Yeah, but - Albus doesn't know that.

He side-glances Scorpius with a vague expression of horror while he follows him.

"All right. Um. A not-so-full experience, then," he corrects himself. "Because I'm really not looking to get expelled from Hogwarts today."

Or ever.

"You don't actually have firewhiskey on you, do you?"

Scorpius presses his lips together. To keep from laughing.

He shrugs.

"I don't know. I might have packed a bottle in my pockets earlier. I do slip sips during class. It helps the hours go by."

Now, Albus narrows his eyes a little.

"You don't do that," he says.

He sounds awfully sure about this.

Mostly because there's no way a student could get away with something like that. But also because -

Well, it's not like he'd been staring or anything.

"At least not in class."

"Oh?"

Maybe he shouldn't have sounded so sure.

Because Scorpius is suddenly very amused.

"Have you been watching me in class, then? Keeping tabs on me, making certain I keep up with my notes? Or is that you're looking to see if I'm pudgy enough yet from your scones?"

Albus turns a bright red.

"N-no," he says weakly. "I just - well, the professors aren't blind. You'd be found out right away if you were doing something like that."

Yes.

He'll stick with that.

"And it was just the two scones."

"Hm," Scorpius hums, considering.

"No, I don't believe you. Blind as they might not be, I think you've been watching me. You want me pudgy and to stop copying your notes."

He feigns hurt, sniffling.

Albus readjusts his bag again, just for something to do, and turns his gaze forward, concentrating on their destination. He can see the bridge ahead.

The heat is still in his face.

"Well, um. Anyway," he says, feigning nonchalance, "you should be writing your own notes."

"But yours are always better," Scorpius says sweetly, winding an arm around Albus' shoulders once more.

Albus' face reddens again.

He momentarily glances down at their feet walking forward.

"How -" he starts, desperately trying not to show how awkward he suddenly feels, "how would you learn if you don't write your own notes, then?"

At least one of them is looking where they're walking. Scorpius nearly trips over his own feet because he's too busy looking at Albus.

He likes having his arm around Albus. It feels nice and -

And not at all like it does when he does the same with Rigel or Olivia or even Annabeth.

"Uhm."

He pulls his arm away, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his robes.

"Technically, I am writing my own notes. Only, I'm copying them down from what you've written in class. And it's not as though I don't study them."

It's weird.

Really, really weird.

But Albus thinks he'd really have liked if Scorpius kept his arm around him.

Except - is that what it is to like someone?

Albus pushes the thought aside, thinking 'later', and shakes his head.

"Well," he allows, "um. I suppose it's not a problem, then. I mean - honestly, I don't mind that you copy my notes. I'd probably mind if you copied my test papers though."

"I don't, I wouldn't," Scorpius assures him. He can't bring himself to joke about that.

But that might also be because his mind is suddenly elsewhere. Where getting caught in a broom cupboard wouldn't be so bad.

Especially -

Especially if it was with Albus.

They've come to the bridge now, and Scorpius feels a bit ill with guilt, thinking that, so he turns away from the other boy to peer down into the deep ravine.

"Uhm. So, er, it's my birthday. And that's - Well, that's why I didn't want to sit in class."

"It's - really?"

Albus watches him for a moment, then joins him to peer over the side of the bridge too.

"Blimey," he says. "I'm - I didn't know. I'm sorry. Happy birthday, Scorpius."

Honestly, with the apparent weirdness in their friendship and Albus' not-exactly-popularity, he can't help but wonder: why would Scorpius really want to spend his birthday with him of all people?

Because he likes Albus. A lot, and too much perhaps.

"You don't - "

Have to apologize? Say anything at all?

"Thanks," he settles for, mumbling. "It's only a day, though."

And that's something Albus still isn't sure about.

The how's, and the why's.

It's getting more and more difficult to avoid thinking about it.

"You need a cake and all of that," Albus says suddenly. "It's too bad we can't go to Hogsmeade."

Now Scorpius is the one blushing, his cheeks a bright pink.

"I, er - I don't need a cake. If I wanted one, I could've gone to Milliways."

"Yeah, but - um. It's not the same, is it? A birthday without a cake," Albus says.

"My birthday's usually around Easter holidays, so it's brilliant when I go home. Dad always picks up a cake if my grandmum hasn't made one already."

"Right. But, no, I mean, this is, uhm - This is good too. Just... this. Being out here, out of class."

With Albus. It's what he wanted.

(His face is burning.)

He clears his throat.

"I'll have something cake-like for dessert tonight."

"Well, I should um - at least get you something later," Albus says thoughtfully, "since I didn't even know it was your birthday.

"Did you want anything in particular?"

Next time they're in Hogsmeade, he'll absolutely get it.

"You don't have to do that," Scorpius says, shaking his head. "I don't want you to do that."

He really doesn't.

"I never mentioned it before, so how could you know? You're not a shoddy mate. I never knew when yours was. Which, you could have mentioned. I'd - I would have got you a present."

He could have got him a really good book. Or something. He should have thought to ask.

"Well, no one else really knows," Albus says, shrugging lightly.

He used to get enough spotlight as it was without adding a birthday to the equation. And then, after a while, Albus never thought to tell anyone, least of all Scorpius, whom he'd only started talking to this year.

"Anyway, it's not important. It's your birthday today."

"Also not important," he mumbles, looking away.

He certainly doesn't need any presents, anyway. He thinks he doesn't deserve any.

He hasn't been a very good friend to Albus, thinking about him as he has.

And he's been a rotten boyfriend to Annabeth, hasn't he?

"Well, it's important enough to risk detention and expulsion and all of that if we get caught, isn't it?" Albus asks, turning his head to glance in Scorpius' direction.

He offers the other boy a smile.

"I suppose - well, it's all right. That's what friends would do for each other."

Friends.

Right.

He had been starting to smile again, until that.

"What friends do."

He suddenly can't be near the other boy, and he steps away to the other side of the bridge.

"Is that - ?"

Is that it, then? Only friends?

Albus' expression falls, too.

That - he hadn't expected that.

At all.

He asks, "Aren't we?" at the same time as Scorpius speaks.

Scorpius jerks his head up, heart pounding quite fiercely in his chest as he stares at Albus.

He can't keep the hurt expression from his face.

"Are we?"

"I ... thought so," he starts.

Albus had expected there would be a couple of awkward moments, what with Scorpius' letter and everything he'd felt shared between them, but -

Maybe it was utterly naïve of him to think that things would simply go back to normal.

The expression on Scorpius' face makes Albus visibly deflate.

Softly: "I'm sorry."

Scorpius sucks in a deep breath, glances away. Albus' apologies make him feel awful. Coupled with the guilt, and the wanting, and faced with the fact of being only friends with Albus...

Well. He's tired of feeling awful.

"Maybe this, uhm - Maybe this wasn't a good idea. I know, uhm - I know what I said in the letter. About moving on quickly, but I - I haven't," he says, stumbling over his words messily.

"I've been dating Annabeth. She's brilliant, and attractive, and I'm an idiot because I'm standing on this bridge, and I want to snog you.

"No, I want to do more than snog you, actually. I want to hold your hand in the corridors and get caught in broom cupboards with you and - I've been waiting, Albus. I've been bloody well waiting for you. And you don't - You'll never - "

Because he won't, will he? He won't.

Scorpius wishes he could feel angry - he wants to; his words are a bit sharp - but he doesn't.

He just feels like an idiot.

Edited 2011-07-11 16:31 (UTC)

Albus stares down at his feet, his insides clenching uncomfortably with something like a mix of guilt and apology and general awfulness.

He knows about Annabeth. He knows about Scorpius' letter to him.

He'd thought that everything was fine, or it would be -

And just -

Why him? How could he - Albus Potter - possibly have that sort of effect on someone else?

'I have to think that with anything like that, you'll know.
It's when you start trying to talk yourself into things
and out of things that you get yourself in trouble.'

And he doesn't know. He doesn't ...

"I'm sorry," he says again.

He doesn't know what else to say.

Scorpius is sorry too.

"I want to be friends," he says, trying not to sound -

Well, quite frankly, like he wants to cry. Because this is, after all, embarrassing enough already.

"But I don't know if I can."

Not when he likes Albus this much and Albus, unknowingly or not, has just sort of broken his heart.

Because it does hurt. It really, really hurts.

"Things were a bit easier when we were ignoring each other, weren't they? We were - We were good at that."

Edited 2011-07-11 17:23 (UTC)

It does hurt.

It hurts Albus, too.

He feels like all the air around them has been sucked right out of the world and the ground has been pulled out from under his feet. It's a huge and horrible cliche, but it's all he can think of to distract himself from hearing the hurt in Scorpius' voice.

"D'you want to go back to that?" he asks quietly. "Ignoring each other."

He really hopes Scorpius won't say 'yes'.

So he continues, quickly: "Because - I don't know what to say. I'm trying to figure it out, but - I don't know. I think you're - you're really, really cool. And I like you. But I don't know if it's -"

He lets out a frustrated sigh.

"I'm not good at this."

Edited 2011-07-11 17:46 (UTC)

And, right then, so Scorpius is going to cry. He's just so confused and hurt.

(Cool?

Just cool?)

"I don't know," he whispers, brokenly. "I - I think, maybe, it might be better if we did. Ignore each other again."

Being ignored has to feel better than this.

Merlin, this is not -

And now Scorpius is - Albus has gone and made the other boy cry, and he's never done that before, ever, and it makes him feel like a monster, and it sucks, and -

And his throat's feeling a bit thick, too.

He wants to reach out and - oh, he doesn't know - pat the other boy, or apologize again, or something (anything), but he doesn't.

Instead, Albus watches Scorpius, rigid in his spot, feeling worse with every second that passes because it's obvious he's the cause of all this, unable to make up his mind as it is.

With a fair amount of deliberation, he nods.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore," Albus says very calmly, though it's still difficult to keep the quaver out of his voice, "or make you feel guilty or like - like an idiot. So - um. Yeah. All right."

He takes a breath, but his chest feels a little tight.

(Who said he wasn't any good at acting?)

"We're not friends anymore. And - and we should ignore each other again." He swallows. "Should be easy, yeah? We barely see each other at school anyway. And Milliways is ... it's a big place."

So. That's it then. Friendship over.

Scorpius discreetly wipes at his eyes and tries not to sniffle too loud. Because now he's not crying in front of Albus, he's crying in front of a Potter.

"You could probably catch the last half of the class, if you hurry."

He turns his gaze away from Alb- Potter.

Chin up, he tells himself.

"Tell the professor I held you up, I started a fight or whatever. I doubt anyone will argue in my favour."

Albus doesn't move for a moment; he's reluctant to go anywhere.

He suddenly feels cold, and he can't keep up with his thoughts.

This can't just be it, can it?

But it is.

Steeling himself, Albus nods.

He takes a step backward.

And then another.

And then he's walking the rest of the length of the bridge, back to the school, never looking back.

[OOM] Skiving class

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