[not-quite-an-OOM] Confessions to Lily

[honourbyname]

Albus almost, very nearly, decides never to use the door to Milliways again.

If only because chances of running into Scorpius there always seem to be greater than they are when he's at school with him. (Which probably shouldn't make any sense when he thinks about it because they're in the same house and share most of the same classes.)

It's just -

It's been difficult to face just about anyone lately.

He thinks he must seem an awful friend to Rose and Andrew (and Honoria when she isn't hanging about her Quidditch-playing Hufflepuff Captain boyfriend). He's been avoiding them too, ashamed to have them notice how un-Albus he is, for reasons he can't quite get into because that'd require far too many explanations and unanswered questions.

Of course, it isn't that he wants to be alone; he'd welcome company if he thought they could sympathize. If he could avoid a long-winded narrative he simply doesn't think he can bring himself to explain without bursting into tears or something equally as mortifying.

Which is why he does end up going back to the Bar.

He finds an isolated enough area to hide, but keeps a constant watch on the door in case the girl whose eyes he inherited happens to walk through.

Comments

[honourbyname]

(Yes. At least - he thinks so.)


Albus nods.

"Timing," he says, "is everything for it to work, isn't it?"

He lets out a breath.

"I ... suppose neither of us is ready for it."

Yet. Maybe.

[lilium_evansiae]

"Well, maybe not everything, but, yeah, you both have to feel ready for it to work, I'd think. One of you can't will the other into that.

"And that goes back to respecting who you are and what you need.

"And that's even more important than timing, I think.

"Anyone you're thinking about dating, or even just being good friend with, needs to respect those things. And if they don't ... they don't deserve you."

[honourbyname]

He lets out another breath, looking a little as though he wants to retreat into himself.

(A part of him does.)

"Yeah," he agrees, not knowing what else to say.

Not knowing what else he can say.

[lilium_evansiae]

Lily gives him another half-hug with the arm that is still across his shoulders.

"And now, as my friend Mary would say, you have a very important decision to make.

"Ice cream or cocoa?"

[honourbyname]

"... what?"

Albus blinks up at her a little confusedly.

[lilium_evansiae]

"D'you want cocoa or ice cream?

"For your chocolate?

"Because friends bringing you chocolate is a cliched but integral part of this kind of discussion.

"Cake, biscuits, and 'just get a chunk of it from Honeydukes' are also options."

[honourbyname]

"Oh."

Albus laughs a little.

"Um. I didn't know that."

Having, you know, never gone through anything like this before.

"Er. I think cocoa might be better right now? Um. Thank you."

[lilium_evansiae]

Well, it's not really about the chocolate.

It's about having friends to bring it to you.

(And, okay, it's a little about the chocolate, which is why Albus' cocoa will arrive with both whipped cream and chocolate shavings on top.)

"You're welcome."

[honourbyname]

Albus smiles at the arrival of his cocoa (with whipped cream and chocolate shavings), glad and relieved and a little lighter for having talked this all out with Lily.

He's not sure there are very many other people he could talk to.

(He had once thought that Scorpius could have been another one of those people ...

Though he isn't sure he wants to rule it out completely yet either. At least not forever.)

He takes a sip of his cocoa.

In the end, continuing to use the door to get to this place might not be so bad an idea after all.